2003-02-25 - 2:07 a.m.

'henry rollins, will you be my secret boyfriend?'

Almost didn't go to see Henry Rollins tonight. Figured I would freak out in a crowd. Figured it was too soon to be 'out there' again. But then, I decided that fuck. I'm not going to let some boy's bad agression fuck me for the rest of my life. I can't live and die by this. I just can't.

Rollins was fucking awesome.

I was planning to write all about how last night I opened my inbox to find an email from him. But I've decided that the more I write about him, the more he just takes over. The more this event eclipses everything. And I don't want that. Suffice it to say that seeing his name there threw me into another questioning frenzy and it really fucked me up. But then I talked to Stacia and she told me that she wasn't surprised. It's exactly what a guilty person would do. Downplay the situation. Make himself feel innocent by acting as if nothing's happened.

So I'm not crazy. And fuck if that doesn't seem important. Now it's time to put all this somewhere back there. In the past. And down. I don't need this sitting on the surface of me. Eating away at me. So, let's not talk about this anymore.

On to some random happy things:
I'm dropping German. * It's MatthewTime day. * I pink-panthered into Mat's personal space earlier tonight and he let me stroke his facial hair. * My sister is my hero.

�

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