2003-12-06 - 1:56 a.m.
'home is a concert crowd on a friday night'
Tonight as I entered the venue for the show part of me was looking to be let down. Waiting for the wrong boys to take the stage and sing all the wrong songs. But then suddenly there they really were. And is it so wrong that I think maybe my heart stopped a little bit? That it stuttered? That moment, after all, was near eight years in the making. I'd waited so damn long.
They started their set with 'Bionic.' With beautiful Brain Molko panting 'harder faster' to the crowd throbbing around me. And I was smack in the middle of it watching Stefan the bass player writhe looking seven feet tall and all torso. I could have started sobbing right then. It was so overwhelming. Or come maybe. Because it seemed like it had all been building up inside me for so long. I felt wound tight. But then ease slicked over me as, with the press of bodies all around me, I found my most comfortable skin. And I slipped right on into it thinking suddenly 'this is what life is about.'
Goddamn I love a live show.
The night ended with a Pixies cover. And I realized halfway through it that I'd been holding my palm over the skin exposed just below my collar bone. I'd been holding there the whole time. Feeling the music sort of pulse through me like a second heartbeat. Feeling, for the first time in too many months, like I was alive again. Alive again for the very first time. Or maybe the twenty-seventh time. And yet it was still too amazing. Too fucking fantastic. It was, in fact, the best show I've ever seen. By far the best show I've ever fucking felt to the core of me.
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