2003-09-09 - 3:48 a.m.

'"and you may ask yourself: how did i get here?"'

I feel like I need to get back in the habit of writing again. But I'm not too sure how to pick the pace back up. Not too much has been going on around here. Still pretty insomniatic. Still doing a lot of driving around trying to get my bearings. Still looking for a job. Still doing all the usual things that fill most of my usual days.

Though, today was pretty odd. It was strange mostly in that I found myself at one point sandwiched between these two girls that went to my high school. Girls that I really only knew in passing. Like I knew of them, but never really knew them. Which is saying something, I suppose, since there were only forty-seven kids in my graduating class. And almost everyone knew everyone else. Yet I didn't knew them. Which made it a strange reunion.

And it's always interesting to look back with people like that. To hear them talk about this past that we shared, but peripherally. Because we were each there, but we experienced it all so differently. Like two people looking at the same blue sky and seeing totally different colors.

And it's funny how much we grow up without even really realizing as much. They're both in the military now. And are both married with babies. I, on the other hand, am ...

Well, I don't know for sure what I am. Or who. I just know where I've been and the things that I've been through. I know that ten years ago, I was a freshman in high school. And yet I'm no less a mess now than I was way back then. I'm more filled up with experience, I suppose. But I feel like I'm still floating in limbo. Still waiting for life to start.

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