2003-05-26 - 12:43 a.m.

'"daddy wasn't there ... i guess he doesn't care"'

It's incredibly surreal to take a gander around this place and see all the nothingness on the walls. To see the emptiness in the cabinets. And to hear the ice fall as i defrost my freezer. In less than six days I'll be gone. And that's fantastic.

My dad's coming in tomorrow. And I'm filled with this weird uneasy feeling about it, like asking him to come may not have been the best of ideas. I guess because I've always been the girl who did every single fucking thing all my herself. It's foreign to me to ask for help with this move. It's even more foreign to be asking for said help of my dad. Because though we've begun to move to less shaky ground, we're still not quite stable. We're still walking on the tremors of years of emotional earthquakes. But he told me he'd come. And he's coming. So maybe that's something. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

�

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