I Wanna Be Joan Cusack

2003-05-15 - 7:47 p.m.

�you could let me get a word in edgewise�

Well, it's been a whole five days without so much as a word spouted from this direction. Probably because I've been so scattershot and barely in one place enough to write more than a few cryptic sentences about never being able to go home, because it's been taken over by a thousand faces I don't recognize. Strangers live in my home. And behind the eyes of my entire fucking family. See? Cryptic.

But anyway. Home was what it was. And the past few days I spent there let me know that I'm ready for Austin. I'm ready to walk away and never look back. Not because I can't, but because I just don't want to anymore. And now I'm back in Big Al with all of sixteen days left before the move. And fuck if this place isn't almost bearable when I know I get to leave soon. The pressure's off somehow. And I'm breathing like I'm finally free.

And so what if I'm lonely. The time is approaching when I know that I won't be. I know it. I just do. And fuck if that doesn't feel good.

�

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