2003-04-28 - 1:36 a.m.

'no wonder i don't believe in the power of love'

Just got off the phone with JeffVanPatten. He cast his vote for my moving to Austin. Guess my rambling attempt to convince got the job done. Well, it convinced someone. Now all that's left is to fully convince myself.

But then all it really takes is for someone to breathe his name. For someone to mention one of those fantastic moments. Or for me to conjure it up in my head. And I'm sold. I convince myself over and over and over again. It's just a matter of holding onto that moment of clairty. That moment of knowing exactly what I want. And knowing exactly what it takes to have it. To take it. To make it my bitch.

I've been thinking a lot about love. And the serious lack of it in my life. Love's an elusive little bastard who needs to make his presence known to me. Or maybe I'm the elusive bastard who needs to make my presence known to love. At any rate, I know that it's time. Because I'm ready to call off this game of hide-and-seek. I'm ready to come out and let myself be known. I'm ready for love. But fuck if it doesn't seem that love's not ready for me.

�

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