I Wanna Be Joan Cusack

2003-04-26 - 2:03 a.m.

'so this must be what happy feels like'

This is going to sound really weird, but there's just something about being in a concert crowd. Especially in a crowd so young. Because boys my age all smell the same. Like somewhere around their twenty-first birthdays they were all given the same bottle of cologne. I hate that smell. It's annoying. And slightly unnerving. It makes me wonder what they're trying to hide. What they're covering up.

Being in a punk-rock crowd smells real to me. It smells like sweat and youth. And like boys should smell. Beyond all the bullshit. At the very core. Being inside that always makes me kind of high. Tonight it just made me happy. Like for an instant I could be back in those good old days where everyone is a possibility and no one is a liar.

�

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