I Wanna Be Joan Cusack

2003-01-29 - 2:18 a.m.

'some late-night ranting'

Right, so I admit it. You dragged it out of me. I need. Damn it. I need. I need in a way that's bigger than me and stronger than me. I need in a way beyond my grasp. Beyond anything I've ever know to be real. And I hate it. I hate that I don't have the control that I pretend to have. I hate that I'm so fucking weak. I need. And I'm just so tired of it. Tired of being denied. Tired of being the last person served.

And I just keep hoping things'll get better, but they just keep getting worse. And I'm at a loss. Fuck I hate the nighttime. And the space. And the darkness and all this time to think bad bad thoughts. I hate it, but it's reality. And it's the only one I know.

�

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