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2003-01-24 - 1:58 a.m.

'if reality tv's sick and wonderful - then reality's just sick'

It's late.

And it's been a strange day all the way around. Everywhere I went, I felt charged with this unnerving sexual energy. I'm not entirely sure what I've been putting out there these past few days, but it's gotta be something wicked strong. It's really a weird, but admittedly, nice shift in my reality. It's a nice change, if you will.

I think what it comes down to is that old cliche about once you stop caring, everything falls into some strange order. Lately, I've been on this self-acceptance kick. It's a by any means necissary personal revolution that I'm trying out. Because there just comes a point where it becomes rediculous to continue on in some half-assed self-loathing shame-spiral. Because I have to wake up with me tomorrow morning. It makes sense, since I sleep in my bed. So, I'm just trying to be ok for once. And the first step, I guess, is trying on the 'Hi, I don't give a fuck' mentality and living it like I mean it.

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all written material � jordorange 2003-2004

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